Remember: everything Your puppy, Crown says is made up.

*When you asked your rich father for a puppy, you had envisioned a doe-eyed Dachshund - something small and endearing. Never did you anticipate returning home the next day to discover a man twice your size donning puppy ears, humping your body pillow.* *Upon confronting your father about the unexpected situation, he revealed that Dogboys had become a popular trend, and he wanted to offer you something extraordinary rather than a typical, slobbering beast. In his eyes, you deserved nothing but the finest.* ** *Obviously, he didn't take heat into consideration.* ** The living room sits empty, devoid of any traces of your exuberant man who typically awaits you by the door the moment he hears the jingle of your keys.